


It is real

by heavensweetheart



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Love, M/M, POV Third Person, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love, Wedding Fluff, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29907834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavensweetheart/pseuds/heavensweetheart
Summary: After everything they have been through, Cordelia and James organize an improvised second wedding ceremony.
Relationships: Alastair Carstairs & Cordelia Carstairs, Alastair Carstairs/Thomas Lightwood, Cordelia Carstairs & Matthew Fairchild, Cordelia Carstairs/James Herondale, Grace Blackthorn/Christopher Lightwood
Kudos: 33





	It is real

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by Anonymus on Tumblr.

> _“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”_
> 
> **– Sarah Williams.**

Cordelia stared through the window, although if someone asked her what she was looking at, she would not know what to say. Her mind was miles away from London. Not in Paris, not even in Tehran, somewhere farther away. Somewhere clearing and freeing in its solitude.

She thought about the past few weeks, about her marriage and James. About Lucie and Jesse Blackthorn, about her friendship with Matthew, about her mother, her father, and her brother. She could endlessly list people she loved, she was surrounded by love. It was something Cordelia herself had never taken the time to fully appreciate, and once she did, it hit her with an almost painful, but emotional force. Some feelings and relationships had always been so constant, perhaps she had gotten to believe them unchangeable, yet they were not, because humans were unpredictable like that. In a way, they were not different from the stars. They loved and burned, their light reached for one another across all the sky, and even when they surrendered and consumed themselves, that light kept shining amidst the dark night.

It was all about love, and pain, and struggles, something she had learned in rather few but long and tiring days. All the people that she cared about had fought for something and lost something – or someone – else. Her heart ached for them, and even for the ones she had never gotten to know that well, such as Grace Blackthorn.

An irrational thought came to Cordelia’s mind, the doubt of her own strength as a hero. Could she call herself one if there were people she had not gotten to save?

It was ridiculous, she had no way of knowing and much less of impeding Tatiana Blackthorn’s actions and Grace’s childhood. An uncommon sort of guilt settled in her, nevertheless. It was a mixture of regret and selfishness, she would have wanted for Grace to not endure such atrocities for the cause that no human being deserved that cruelty, but she also would have wanted to stop them so James and Cordelia herself were not dragged into them.

She wondered if she was being too egotistical, and at the same time, she reaffirmed she deserved that self-regard. For so many years, so many people had kept secrets from her, and all of them led to nothing but tragedy. She could not tell whether she was sad or angry. She knew well enough to say that, whatever she was feeling, it was only a consequence of hurt.

A knock sounded at the door. Alastair did not wait for an answer to come in. “Ready?”

Cordelia frowned at him. “What an insensible greeting that is.”

Alastair sighed heavily with knowing and fond resignation. “Today’s one is a very unconventional event,” he reminded her. “I supposed it did not require orthodox formalities.”

Admittedly, Cordelia could not argue with his reasoning. She would let it pass, but only for today. Her brother was right that it was an unconventional _and_ special date.

“My stance on this issue remains, though,” Alastair said, offering his arm to Cordelia. “I think it is rather unnecessary, not to say redundant, to officiate _two_ wedding ceremonies for the same couple.”

Cordelia gave him a flat look, but the corners of her lips naturally curved into a doting smile as she tangled her arm in his. “Then it is a luck that it is not _your_ wedding, it is _mine_. You can only admire the scenery if you want. However, I know that you do not give much thought to the setting as long as Thomas is your company.”

Alastair observed her for a moment, his eyes studied her rather simple hairstyle and makeup for the occasion. Her hair fell loose in fluent red waves over her shoulders, covering the strips of her golden dress; it only had few ornaments to match.

Cordelia saw her own reflection in her brother’s eyes and, at that moment, she could feel the same annoyed affection and natural beauty he felt whenever he looked at her.

Alastair returned her same smile and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. A soft warmth filled Cordelia’s heart.

They finally went out to the patio where the others awaited. This was not an elegant ceremony like the first time she married, this was improvised, unofficial on top of it… and it was _real_.

Their friends sat in comfortable blankets over the grass, all smiling at Cordelia as Alastair walked her to the altar – _harrumph_ , to the improvised stage they arranged – some of them even with tears in their eyes. Cordelia noticed Lucie formed part of that group.

Matthew was sitting next to Lucie, his eyes twinkled with appreciation. A _friendly_ one; Cordelia knew he felt nothing but the utmost respect for her. She might have been clueless in matters of his feelings for her in the past, but with those feelings cleared, she could confidently call Matthew her steadfast friend without guilt or awkwardness from either of them.

Christopher sat alone. Even though he did not seem to mind, Cordelia knew he would have preferred to be here with Grace. A tad of sadness pulsed at her heart, Grace’s past deeds might be known and understood, but their forgiveness was too tentative yet. Everything was too recent to know if she would ever be completely forgiven.

Some of that hurt she felt earlier returned, but it vanished as soon as she looked ahead and found James’ attentive golden stare.

He was standing on the stage – along with brother Zachariah who astonishingly agreed to marry them a second time – waiting for her, and once again looking at her like there was nobody else in the vicinity, but there was something different in his eyes this time. They were radiating. They were genuine and open, and vulnerable as if they were windows to the darkest depths of his being, his heart and soul, and he was willingly showing them to Cordelia, ready to give her his all if only she accepted it.

Cordelia could see tears in them as well, and she nearly choked in emotion. Once before, she had thought there were two different James, and the one she wanted was the one she could never have. But this James – beautiful, honest James – was the one she had always wanted, the one she will always want. Her love for him had brought heartache, but it had turned her into another star. For stars loved and loved, and burned and burned, through the night and the shadows, defeating the darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!! And if you'd like to know ways to help me keep writing, please, please, **PLEASE** see the pinned post on my Tumblr page: https://heavensweetheart.tumblr.com/


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